Wedding Planning Chronicles: Part 1
/Wedding planning advice from a photographer planning her own wedding
As a wedding photographer I have been blessed with the unique perspective of seeing a couple plan out their dream wedding day and then being able to capture that day on camera for all to remember. This time around, I find myself planning my own nuptials and I thought it would be a good idea to combine my observations as a wedding photographer with my experiences planning my own.
Today’s Topic: Be Okay with plans and ideas changing
If I had to take a guess, if you are a future or past bride and you are reading this right now, you probably have a secret Pinterest board you created with all the things you wanted to wear, do, decorate, etc., for your own wedding. So many brides come to me before their big day to show me all their ideas on their Pinterest and ask what I think and if we can pull it off. If you’re old-school, maybe for you it was a scrapbook, diary, mood board, or something of the like you pasted magazine cutouts onto.
If you are anything like me or my many past brides, your original wedding dreams seemed to be all you cared about at first. You tell everyone you got it all planned out and know exactly what you want. Then, fast forward a few months, and maybe you’re seeing flowers you like more, colors that seem like a better fit, dresses that speak more to your style, and the list goes on and on. All the sudden you feel conflicted and maybe just want to do it all - everything you see, you want!
Personally, I went from emerald and gold as my main colors and from understated and elegant decor, to bright pops of every color of the rainbow and an almost circus-themed affair in parts, complete with sno cones, churros, and cotton candy. And you know what? I’m okay with that. At first I was worried that changing things was going to look bad on us and was going against my younger self’s wishes. I mean, I already sent out the invites that were very clearly more suited for the old theme and my Pinterest board was so obviously a 1930’s cocktail party theme. Another worry was that maybe it was just that there were too many inspiration photos to look at and my vision was getting blurred. I heard people in my head saying, “isn’t it getting a bit all over the place?”
I want you all to know that it is totally okay to change course. If you want to change your color palette or even go so far as to call it all off and elope, that’s 100% your call to make and completely acceptable. What I realized when I was trying to decide if it was alright to switch around a bit on the theme a few months into planning was: OF COURSE IT IS! It’s OUR wedding after all. I like elegance, but I also like to have a blast and have never been known for blending into a crowd or having “simple” style. I want my guests to have a rip-roaring good time and stay cooled off eating a sno cone on a hot summer day while petting farm animals.
Couldn’t it be both that ‘old elegance’ I loved since I was a kid, mixed with the fun and funky side of me that seems to come out more anytime me and my future husband talk about our dream wedding? It seems that every bride plans “two weddings”, as my dear friend (and recent bride herself), Linnea, once said over margaritas. She was spot-on. And you know what? I think it’s OK to combine those two instead of having to pick which dreams you honor and which you don’t.
Weddings are too often about other people and what is considered appropriate. When we decide to do something that has meaning to us, and maybe only us, we end up asking things like:
“Will people get this?”
“Will they think this is silly?”
“is this food good enough?”,
“will we have enough options for everyone to enjoy?”
“will they understand our jokes at the ceremony or our silly first dance"?”.
And in my most recent case, “will people be confused if the wedding invites don’t match the colors of the flowers when they show up?
Do yourself a favor and throw it all out! Every reservation or second guess you have, just toss it away. You happiness is all that really matters. Ideas will change. This is how things get made.
And while we are on the topic of change, also remember that plans may change even if your ideas don’t. Dan and I knew that certain sacrifices would have to be made because we were planning our nuptials in only six months instead of the “normal” twelve to eighteen (I think this may be it’s own blog topic).
Maybe those farm tables you want are out of your budget.
Maybe its not possible to have rented peacocks (yes, I looked into it).
Maybe one of your closest friends may not make it because it conflicts with an important work trip.
Maybe certain family members can’t attend because of health reasons or personal issues.
Things will happen that will be out of your control. Just roll with it and have the wedding you want to have. Control the parts you can and let fate do the rest. That seems to be how we are getting through these grueling first few months. This is your wedding and you can always start a new Pinterest board ;)
‘til the next one,
Happy planning
